Three Surprising Reasons Why You Feel So Stressed
For more than 11 years I’ve worked with people who are doing amazing things yet suffer from debilitating stress. My passion is not just to manage their anxiety, but to dissolve it.
- Do you sometimes feel so overwhelmed or pressured that you shut down?
- Have you ever cancelled a fabulous opportunity because you got so worked up about it?
- Are you tired of the heavy chest and repetitive thoughts?
- Do you portray as easy going but feel tied up inside?
- Imagine what a relief it would it be to feel confident, at ease and never get stressed.
I want to share with you three causes that lead to stress. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with you. Stress affects all of us at times even those successful and free from financial restriction or who have an abundance of love and support.
By not expressing your true desires, feelings and preferences to those who need to hear them is communication breakdown. There is usually major stress at the thought of speaking to the person you are in a relationship with, be they your partner, parents, a friend or colleagues. To eliminate stress It is imperative to release yourself from obligation whether it is real or perceived.
A client of mine was feeling extremely stressed. She told me she was stressing because she had to decide where to go to University. Two different states had two similar courses and she wanted to make the right decision. We discovered her anxiety was nothing to do with the Course or even which State to live in. You see: Her parents were divorced, one lived in each State her overwhelm stemmed from feeling responsible for her Father. She felt guilty about leaving him in case he was lonely if she moved or hurt that she chose to live with her Mother. How did she cure her stress? She mustered up the courage to talk to her Father and tell him what she was considering and how she worried about leaving him. She received assurance that he supported her no matter what she decided and that her responsibility for him was unfounded. Stress cured.
Stress caused by communication breakdown is especially prevalent for personalities who don't like friction.
The first thing you need to do is listen to your body; if you are stressed then you are being told to take action.
In the future when you feel stressed remember there is something you need to do.
Easier said than done! If you knew what action to take you wouldn’t be stressed in the first place. As you can see from the case study, my client could easily have assumed her ACTION was to decide which University Course to take. But her stress was never actually about choosing the wrong course. It was about her feeling bad, like she was letting her Father down.
Here are my steps to help you Map what to do and its available as a quiz after this tutorial.
Heads up: it will be something you are avoiding.
Define your MAP by reflecting on your situation:
What was I thinking about when the stress came on?
What am I worried about?
How does it make me feel?
What am I afraid of?
Who might be affected by this?
What needs to change? (List your ideal outcome)
Who do I need to communicate with?
Take action; Gather up the courage to meet and talk in person. If face to face is too hard for you then text or email is okay, the most important thing is to do it, ideally as soon as possible so your stress goes.
Using my 3 step process, you master your stress whenever your body warns you to.
You will feel like a weight lifts from your shoulders!
3 tips to overcome communication breakdown and cure your stress are:
- LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
- MAP WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
- DO IT
Do you say yes then wish you had said NO?
Do you say you are “over it” even though a situation still enters your thoughts sometimes or invokes an emotional reaction, like tears or anger?
Do you do most of the chores around the house then feel annoyed at the family?
Being dishonest with ourselves is something we all do without realizing we are and it is a huge contributor stress. Let me help you understand what I mean by being dishonest with yourself.
A client came to a session to address her regular bouts of anxiety. She was a working Mother of 3 children, super busy trying to fit so much into the day. However in this session she told me that her sister who has one child, asked her to babysit one evening, this was something that her sister asked often. She said yes, as she always did. Then immediately began to wish she had not. Thoughts began to run through her mind, why had she said yes, she was so busy, there was so much to do with her own family especially in the week with work, housekeeping, and caring for her own 3 little kids. Her thoughts escalated, "Couldn't her sister see this?" anxiety took over as she became overwhelmed at having said YES.
You know what would have avoided this whole stress? She could have said NO. As we worked through why she felt she could not say no, it boiled down to not wanting to let her sister down. But she let herself down instead. My client needed to COMMUNICATE with her sister and tell her how stressed she was with her own workload and it was best to not have extra during the week. Stress GONE and boundaries reset.
Being honest with yourself means admitting you are worthy. Be aware when you put reset boundaries to alter the situation so it does not happen again. Now you have eliminated stress, overwhelm, and pressure by reclaiming your personal power. You’ll become an empowered individual who respects her own needs as much as others.
The third reason why you feel so stressed out, is thanks to your intuition and inner sense.
Inner sense it is innate in all of us, it is what drives our intuition.
Those with heightened inner sense are able to sense moods, feelings and personality of other people. The symptoms of Anxiety or Stress are a common physical trigger alerting you that someone else may be feeling stressed. For example, I once worked with a lady called Isabel who came to me because she struggled with a racing heartbeat and feeling as though she was having a heart attack. She had been to the doctor many times with no evidence that there was anything medically wrong with her, the sensation persisted. She thought she was going crazy and constantly worried that she was ill. That’s when I helped her to realize she was able to sense the energy of others. I explained how her naturally intuitive nature was not a weakness but actually a strength. Those with the ability to intuit what others are thinking and feeling make the most effective coaches, counsellors or therapist. In fact they are amazing in any position where people are the focus, like management or human resources. After that, Isabel's fears vanished as did her anxiety. She actually went on to develop her intuitive abilities, and shares her story to help others in similar situations.
Social anxiety is a common label for those with strong intuition. Because for them it can be difficult to be around people. They are like energetic sponges sensing the feelings of those near by. Imagine the intensity of that in a crowd?
You might pick up on health where your body takes on physical symptoms such as aches and pains (arthritis or sore back) or difficultly breathing (asthma or lung problems).
You might sense emotional symptoms excitement, grief, sadness, depression, anger or any other feeling.
Take this little test to check if you are sensitive:
- Do you feel drained when you shopping or into a public place?
Does your heart race sometimes for no reason?
- Do you tear up when watching movies or tv?
- Have you ever thought of someone then heard from them soon after?
- Do your moods shift erratically at times; eg: one moment content next feeling low?
- Have you ever dreamed of something and it happens?
- Do you ever get the goosebumps when it is not cold?
- Are you easily moved by the stories of others?
- Have you had a feeling to call someone and when you did something had happened?
- Do you make decisions based on your gut feeling?
If you answer YES to any then you are have heightened intuition and strong inner sense.
To overcome misdiagnosed 'stress', you must acknowledge your sensitivity. Understanding your inner senses allows you to control them. The trick is to discern if the feeling or symptoms are your own, if they are not then they clear in an instant.
The most important thing you can do right now is be aware of your inner sense so that you can manage it. When you get a feeling or sensation ask in your mind as "is this mine?" If it is not; it not the feeling should subside. If it returns simply intend the energy to go back to its owner. So think "this is not mine, send it back".
I have a free video series releasing soon. Leave your name and email here and I'll let you know when its ready.